Did you ever have a friend...?

Did you ever have a friend that you felt like didn't really give a shit about being friends with you, but more they care about you being around so they can talk about themselves?

I have a friend like this. I guess more of an acquaintance... I only know him from work. But I've known him for years, since I first started with the company. Lately, I've been questioning WHY we're friends, and why we've been friends for so long. Although we lack a lot in common, and he's about 15 years older than me, I've always seen him as kind of a work mentor, even though we don't work in even similar fields. Lately, I feel like when I turn to him for professional advice, he's super quick to turn the conversation to himself. I know two main parts of being friends with someone, as with any relationship, is give and take. As much as you expect your friend to be there for you, you have to be there for them. I can say with confidence that it makes me feel bitchy to think that he's not providing the friendship for me that I'm asking of him, which I mean, nothing I'm asking for is live-saving. It'd be nice to just once though, have my though/question answered, rather than have it turned into, "Your thought made me think of this thing about ME. ME. ME."

Then it occurred to me - am I this kind of friends to others? Do I take everything that is brought to me and turn it around to be about myself?  I have been accused before of being selfish and self-absorbed. But I hate to think that I'm so selfish and self-absorbed that I don't recognize what it is my friends are needing, or are asking for, from me. I think often times, in conversations, I refer back to personal experiences to enter the dialogue about a friend's issues or problem. Is that seen as focusing on myself? To me, it's a way of saying, "I understand you. See, I had this experience once that was like the one you're in now, and this is how I handled it." Is that interpreted as, "I'm not hearing or don't care about what you're saying, but am instead using this as an opportunity to talk about myself"?

While I don't care enough about it to confront my friend about his conversations with me, I do care enough about it to not be this kind of friends to others. I will focus more on LISTENING, rather than CONTRIBUTING, unless of course I'm being asked to contribute. Maybe if I can be a little bit less selfish as a friend, it will translate into being less selfish as a person.

Just a thought about your pregnancy...

So, when your little bundle of joy is finally here, are you going to let him or her know that all you did the whole time you were pregnant with them was BITCH about how miserable you were?

Jeeeeez. You're not the first woman to do this, and you won't be the last. I promise your pregnancy isn't the worst one on the books, and women STILL somehow managed to go 9 months to have a kid, WITHOUT modern medicine.

Seriously, QUIT YOUR BITCHIN'!


#end rant